I’m sorry if you guys are tired of photosets like these from me, but I personally will never get tired of celebrating my success in returning to a weight that is healthy for ME.
I often get questions about what happened and whether I had an eating disorder. I did not. I do, however, live with panic disorder, and for a long time the only dose of medication that was strong enough to stop the anxiety from destroying my life ended up hurting me in a completely different way. I lost my appetite entirely and even the best foods tasted like sawdust to me. I didn’t eat nearly enough. It was a downward spiral all winter and by December, I was almost medically underweight, and definitely below what was healthy for MY body. I felt tired and lightheaded constantly, was often irritable, almost passed out every time I stood up, and just generally felt like complete crap.
That month, I made a vow to myself that I was going to get healthy again and take back my life. I wanted to have energy to do things again! And I wanted to feel as strong as I used to. I ran a 5k a year ago. I lifted weights, I had endurance, I felt tough and badass. And then anxiety creeped in and threw me off course entirely.
Do I regret going on the medication? Absolutely not. It saved me. It allowed me to function as a normal person and not have crippling panic attacks several times per day. What I do regret is not monitoring myself more and talking to my doctor about the side effects. If I had taken more preventative measures, my weight loss might not have gone as far as it did. Please don’t be scared to take medication if you need it. Please DO talk to your doctor right away if you start noticing side effects.
Anyway, this is getting long. I guess I just wanted to say that I did it. I am much healthier and happier than I was then. I’m still on the same dose of medication, but I’m being more careful now. And in monitoring myself and making special effort to eat more often, my appetite has returned to almost what it was before. I feel a thousand times better.
Weight loss is not synonymous with health. Take care of yourselves, guys. ❤
I’ll stop reblogging this soon I swear
I’m just happy
I’m so happy for you love! Incredibly proud of you! ♥♥♥♥